Age Limits

I think everyone would agree that the people we choose to hang out with have a great impact on our lives. Certainly the book of Proverbs has several verses that drive this point home. One such verse in Probers 13:20

“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”

Walking with the wise helps us become wise. This happens as we listen to the words of the wise, as we learn how they make decisions, witness their thought process. When you walk with a person you learn to walk at their pace, you witness their priorities, you see the places they frequent, people they choose to hang with. You see the principles they live by in their lives, marriage, parenting and in their walk with the Lord. All very important lessons for people to learn. But I’m afraid this is a dynamic few seem to be experiencing.

We live in a very segregated society. We are a society segregated by age. Sadly this attitude has even worked its way into the Church. Adolescents hang around adolescents, teens hang out with teens, young adults hang with young adults seniors hang with seniors. The Church keeps these groups separated from each other. Our socials, teaching, even our worship sometimes is aimed at these age groups separately instead of seeing how we can integrate them for the benefit of all. When this happens the whole dynamic of what Proverbs sets forth in this verse is lost.

I think one of the great needs today is integration not segregation. Discipleship or mentoring happens when those with experience, (wisdom) teach those who are younger and less experienced. If 10 adolescents get together to discuss life and what is important, or just hang out, there is not going to be a whole lot of useful information shared that is going to increase the wisdom of those in the group. Wisdom implies experience, maturity, spiritual understanding, knowledge of the Word of God etc. But take the same group and add a few mature saints into the mix, and if these kids are willing to listen they can learn a great deal about life.

Proverbs says foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. Filling a room with children does not alter that principle. If foolishness = 0 wisdom, it doesn't matter what you multiply that number by, 2 or 200, the total = 0. For example, A football team of 40 men who have each played football for one year does not add up to a football team with 40 years of experience. 20 couples meeting together who have been married for 1 year does not add up to 40 years of marital experience and wisdom. 10 Parents with a one year old child getting together to talk about parenting are not bringing 10 years of parenting to the table. One couple married for 40 years will have more wisdom than 20 couples married for one year.

Lack of experience x lack of experience does not equal experience. But sadly in our churches we seem to think it does. These kinds of segregated groups often translate into nothing more than the pooling of ignorance not wisdom. I understand that it is nice to be with people who are in the same stage of life, there is nothing wrong with that. But add some couples with grown children, to the mix or add a couple who’ve been married for 40 or 50 years to the mix and now you have something that is going to lead to wise parenting, some good marriage counsel. You have the receipt for wisdom being passed down to the next generation.

I’ll admit it is more enjoyable to hang with people your own age. There are times when that is advisable and perfectly understandable. But listen to what The Psalmist says in Psalm 71:18
“So even to old age and gray hairs,O God, do not forsake me,until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come.”

Who does this old, gray haired saint want to proclaim God’s might to? Other old, gray haired saints? No, but to another generation, a younger generation who needs to learn what experience and walking with God for years have taught this wise old saint.

Churches should be a place where ages are integrated. Wisdom is passed on from generation to generation. Segregating by age may be culturally acceptable, easier and less threatening, but it destroys a very important spiritual dynamic that needs to take place in all of our lives. The need to learn wisdom. The need to walk with the wise. A young couple with young kids would do well to befriend an older couple who have raised their own children well. Spend time with them, listen to them, ask them questions . Older couples need to befriend young couples to help and encourage them.
Something to think about.