"Growing, Growing, Gone"

   There comes a point in every parent’s life when they realize that the time with their children is

coming to an end. The child is heading off to college, or getting married, or moving away to a new job.  For the parents, the house will becomes strangely and, for a short period, pleasantly quiet.   Having left home the children will be hearing different voices in their lives, they will be facing some hard choices, and mom and dad will not be there to help.         

     Solomon knew this day would come so he made sure he took advantage of those times he had with his children. Yes I am sure he played with them, took them for chariot rides and, taught them how to throw a javelin etc.  No doubt Solomon spent quality as well as quantity time with his kids.   But as he did this it was with a view toward an end.  He was preparing them to leave home.   He was preparing them for life.  He was preparing them for relationships.   

    What tools am I giving my children to build their lives on their own?  Have I imparted to them wisdom for life?  Have I taught them how to live a life pleasing to God, for the glory of God and the good of others?  

      Biblical wisdom has at its foundation the premise that real life begins with a right relationship with Jesus Christ and is daily lived in obedience to His Word.   "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom..."

     How do we prepare our children to leave home?  Many of the 31 chapters of Proverbs begin with the words " my son".    This means Solomon knew it was not enough just to spend time with his kids, he needed to teach them. It is the teaching both in word and in life that will stay with with our children when they leave our homes.  Solomon knew it was important to teach his children the principles of wisdom, or wise living.   He knew the value of making wise decisions.  Sadly, later in his life he would also learn the heartbreak and consequences of unwise decisions.

     The last five verses of Proverbs 4 give us some wonderful guidelines to teach our children as they prepare to go out and live life on their own..  

Proverbs 4:23-27 Keep your heart with all vigilance ,for from it flow the springs of life. Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you. Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet ;then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil.  

Each of these four or five principles could have many sub points under them

       1.    Keep your heart with all vigilance ,for from it flow the springs of life.    Son, guard your heart – what ever controls your heart, your will, your passions, your values, your worship, will ultimately control your life and consequently determine the kind of life you will have.   To paraphrase – We all have a master, i.e. someone or something that sits on the throne of our hearts calling the shots; therefore choose your master carefully. 

      2.    Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you.   Learn the value of telling the truth.  Put a guard over your month.  How we are doing with guarding our hearts will be evident in how we use our tongue.  Many a young person has had their life set on fire because they could not control their tongues leading to angry outbursts, gossip, backbiting and lying. 

     3.    Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.    Pay attention to your life and not everyone else’s.  How important is this in our day and age.  Tweets, messaging, Facebook, have all made young people addicted to what is going on in everyone’s life.  Solomon is exhorting his son to stay focused, don’t’ get sidetracked. 

     4.    Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil.  Ponder the path of your feet, where are you headed.  If you keep on this path where is it going to lead you.  Son THINK.  Watch where you’re going.  No one plans to fail, no one plans to have an unhappy marriage,  no one plans to end up addicted to drugs or alcohol.  It happens with no thought what so ever.  So to avoid those things learn to think, ponder your path, consider seriously the outcome of your choices.  Stay true to the truth of God’s word and do not waver.

    Solomon knew these simple yet profound principles would mean the difference between a life lived abundantly to the glory and of God and the good of others or a life of heartbreak and loss. 

    What are we as parents teaching our children, both in our words and our actions about how to live life.? What are we teaching them about what is important?  These principles apply not only to children but to parents as well.  

     God gives us kids not to fill a need in our lives but to fill a vast need in the child’s life.  That need is for biblical wisdom, discipline and instruction.

     So moms and dads, ponder the path of your parenting, guard your heart in your parenting, stay focused in your parenting.  Who are you listening to when it comes to your parenting practices? God says our children “can be taught”. God says our children need to be taught.   God gave them to us “to train them up in the way they should go…”  

Parenting. . .

…is teaching them to listen

…is teaching them to learn  

…is preparing them to leave

…is preparing them to live 

…is preparing them for LIFE.

"A Wanted Man"

"Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find?"   Proverbs 20:6

 This sentence ends with a question mark.  Surprising because one would think that with so many men proclaiming faithfulness a faithful man would not be that hard to find. But apparently they are a rare commodity.  Homes across North America need such men, but where are they?  Churches need such men, where are they?  Obviously the answer is not going to be found by talking to men, they will just keep proclaiming their own steadfast love, keep saying  there is no problem.  They  will tell you repeatedly to listen to what they are telling you.  However, despite all the talk of faithfulness and steadfast love, the search in many homes still goes on.
Sadly, many wives could echo the frustration generated by such a question, many a child has left home angry and disillusioned by such harsh realities..   Far to many homes today are filled with absentee husbands and fathers.  Men who are present in the home physically, but have checked out emotionally.  Men who make lots of promises and are full of good intentions, but that’s all it ever amounts to.  They are not engaged in the lives of their spouse or their children.  There is a lot of talk, a lot of someday,  but someday never comes. Many men today are in their own little world and the wife and children know it despite the grand  proclamations to the contrary.
It is so easy to say things, to make moving affirmations of steadfast love, but words without action are hollow, meaningless and worthless.
Steadfast love is a sacrificial love, it is a love that considers others before itself.   Steadfast love is a love that is going to persevere in spite of a thousand excuses it may have to stop.  It is like the Energizer bunny, “It just keeps on going.”  It is a stubborn, others centred love.  It is not a love that just talks a good talk, it is a love that walks the walk.  But above all it is a supernatural love.  It is God’s love flowing through us by the power of His Spirit which lives indwells every believer.   As the saying goes, “talk is cheap”, especially In the home.  Steadfast love is a love that cherishes, protects, nurtures and delights in the one being loved.   It is a love that shows itself not in creeds but in deeds.  Not in talk but in the walk.

We have  the greatest description of steadfast, stubborn love in these verses from Corinthians.

 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
 Love never ends.  - 1 Corinthians 13:1-8

To paraphrase our verse in Proverbs.  Many a man talks about the love described in vs 4-8 but what they deliver is just a whole lot of noise vs 1-3.  Noise which is about as helpful,  meaningful and soothing as crashing cymbals.  Who can find a faithful man? The world does not produce such men, the Spirit of God and the Word of God are the creators of such men.  Families, churches and society need  such men.  

  “Be men! In courage; not cowards, turning our back on the foe, or giving way in danger, or reproach, or evil days. In solidity; not shifting or shadowy, but immoveable as the rock. In strength; as the man is, so is his strength. Be strong! In wisdom. Foolishness is with childhood, wisdom with manhood. Speak and act with wisdom, as men. In ripeness. The faculties of men are ripe, both for thinking and working. They speak ripe words, think ripe thoughts, plan and execute ripe things. In understanding be men! In all things – what you do, and what you refrain from doing, be men. Act the manly part – let nothing effeminate, luxurious, sickly, childish, puny, little, narrow be seen about you. Christianity makes men, not babes. Adorn the doctrine of Christ by your manliness. In the Church, in the world, in business, in conversation, in prosperity, and adversity, [act] like men! Let no man despise you; and let no man despise the Gospel because of you.”
Horatius Bonar

Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found faithful. - 1 Corinthians 4:2